He admitted he was torn. Kyle Williams retirement announcement wasn't an easy decision for him. He can still play NFL football at a high level. He loves the only other city he's ever lived in besides where he grew up in Louisiana. But the tug on his heart for his family was something he could no longer put to the side.
The father of five came to a realization this past spring that he's simply missing too many of his kids' milestones, and his professional career was the main culprit.
"I've watched way too many T-ball and soccer games over FaceTime," he said. "This past spring more than ever. I think at the end of the day, it came down to the things that I say are most important to me, are they really the most important things, or do I just say that because that's what everybody else says?
"I don't know if there's ever a good time, whether it's now or whether it's two years from now, it's going to hurt walking away. There's going to be a void in my life because of how much this game, obviously this organization, and this team has meant to me in general. Those were all things that I'm going to have to work through and process. It's never easy."
Williams has not only been committed to pro football the past 13 years, he genuinely loves it. He loves the preparation, the competition and the grind.
What made his decision all the more difficult is a relationship he's built in the only NFL city he's known. Buffalo took Kyle Williams in as their adopted son. They loved him, because they saw a lot of themselves in him. A prideful person, who puts in an honest day's work every day, even when things don't always go the way you want them to.
"The city here, if you commit yourself to it, you commit yourself to the community, there's such a different vibe," he said. "There's such a different feeling. We've had guys come in and out of this organization, obviously, tons for my years here. These guys either didn't want to come here because of what they had heard or maybe people make a funny face when you say 'Buffalo.'
"They didn't want to be drafted here, they didn't want to come here in free agency, they had no other choice, whatever the things may be. When it was time for leaving, nobody wanted to leave. There's something about (Buffalo) that gets inside of you and takes hold if you commit yourself to it and you let it in."
Despite all the seasons where the playoffs weren't part of the equation, and the better part of two seasons were lost to injury, Williams said he wished he was 22 again so he could do it all over.
That's the level of competitor Williams was for the Bills, and it was why he remains so revered in Buffalo's locker room. He was the ultimate competitor.
Williams hinted at being involved in helping to push coach McDermott's process along. Whether that's from afar or making his way back to Buffalo now and again, the details will likely be ironed out in the offseason.
For now, Williams is looking forward to Sunday's season finale when he buckles his chin strap at New Era Field, one last time. It'll be his last taste of the competition that drove him to be one of the most successful defensive lineman in team history.
"It'll be a fun experience," said Williams. "I'm excited about it, obviously. I don't know that a place has ever meant more to anybody. I'm excited for the weekend."
Longtime Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams will call it a career after 13 years, following the team's 2018 season finale against the Dolphins. Click through to see highlights from his remarkable tenure with the Bills.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams vs Los Angeles Chargers at StubHub Center. on November 19, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills vs New York Jets at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY. Photo by Kevin Hoffman. September 10, 2017.
Buffalo Bills vs New York Jets, NFL game at New Era Field on September 10, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills vs New York Jets at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY. Photo by Bill Wippert. September 10, 2017.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95). sack. Buffalo Bills defensive end Jerry Hughes (55) Buffalo Bills vs New England Patriots at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY.
Photo by Bill Wippert. December 3, 2017.
Buffalo Bills vs Indianapolis Colts at New Era Field on December 10, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) Buffalo Bills vs Miami Dolphins at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY.
Photo by Bill Wippert. December 17, 2017.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams celebrates with his players after the 16-10 Bills win against the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium on November 26, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams (95) pursues New England Patriots running back Rex Burkhead (34) at New Era Field on December 3, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills vs New Orleans Saints at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) Photo by Bill Wippert. November 12, 2017.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams (95) against the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium on November 26, 2017. The Bills won 16-10. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams (95) with a sack of New England Patriots Tom Brady (12) at New Era Field on December 3, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams (95) with a sack of New England Patriots Tom Brady (12) at New Era Field on December 3, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Kyle Williams Buffalo Bills vs Denver Broncos at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY. Photo by Bill Wippert. September 24, 2017.
Buffalo Bills vs New York Jets at New Era Field, Orchard Park, NY. Photo by Bill Wippert. September 10, 2017.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) runs into the end zone untouched vs the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates his rushing touchdown the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills Kyle Williams with his sons during the celebration of the playoff berth after defeating the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates his rushing touchdown the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates his rushing touchdown the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates his rushing touchdown the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates his rushing touchdown the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates his rushing touchdown the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) runs into the end zone untouched vs the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami on December 31, 2017. The touchdown run is Williams first rushing score. Photo by Craig Melvin.
Buffalo Bills at Minnesota Vikings, September 23, 2018 at U.S. Bank Stadium. Photo by Jordan Johnson
Buffalo Bills outside linebacker Lorenzo Alexander (57), Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) and Buffalo Bills running back Patrick DiMarco (42) walk to the coin toss of the Buffalo Bills vs Detroit Lions at New Era Field on December 16, 2018. Photo by Craig Melvin
Buffalo Bills defensive end Jerry Hughes (55) and Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) celebrates their sack of Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles (5) at the Buffalo Bills vs Jacksonville Jaguars at New Era Field, November 25, 2018. Photo by Craig Melvin
Buffalo Bills defensive end Jerry Hughes (55) and Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) sack Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles (5) at the Buffalo Bills vs Jacksonville Jaguars at New Era Field, November 25, 2018. Photo by Craig Melvin
Buffalo Bills defensive end Jerry Hughes (55) and Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) sack Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles (5) at the Buffalo Bills vs Jacksonville Jaguars at New Era Field, November 25, 2018. Photo by Craig Melvin
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) - Buffalo Bills vs New England Patriots at New Era Field. Photo by Kevin Hoffman October 29, 2018
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) Buffalo Bills defensive end Jerry Hughes (55) Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans, October 14, 2018 at NRG Stadium. Photo by Bill Wippert
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) - Buffalo Bills vs New England Patriots at New Era Field. Photo by Kevin Hoffman October 29, 2018
Kyle Williams and Trent Murphy sack. Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans, October 14, 2018 at NRG Stadium. Photo by Bill Wippert
Kyle Williams. Buffalo Bills at Minnesota Vikings, September 23, 2018 at U.S. Bank Stadium. Photo by Bill Wippert
Kyle Williams. Buffalo Bills at Green Bay Packers, September 30, 2018 at Lambeau Field. Photo by Bill Wippert
Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans, October 14, 2018 at NRG Stadium. Photo by Bill Wippert
Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams (95) and Buffalo Bills linebacker Lorenzo Alexander (57). Buffalo Bills vs Los Angeles Chargers at New Era Field, September 16, 2018. Photo by Bill Wippert
Kyle Williams sack and celebration. Buffalo Bills at Minnesota Vikings, September 23, 2018 at U.S. Bank Stadium. Photo by Bill Wippert
Buffalo Bills dt Kyle Williams #95 Buffalo Bills de Trent Murphy #93 Buffalo Bills 2018 Organized Team Activity. Photo by Bill Wippert. May 29, 2018.
Buffalo Bills at Green Bay Packers, September 30, 2018 at Lambeau Field. Photo by Jeffrey T. Barnes
Kyle Williams #95. Buffalo Bills 2018 player photos. Photo by Bill Wippert. May 8, 2018.
