On whether the idea of possibly playing his last game in Buffalo has set in
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I think yesterday was more difficult than today. Like I mentioned yesterday, it was a very emotional game for me, probably bigger emotion than I have ever felt prior to a football game, even having played in two Super Bowls just because they were different types of emotions. Today, I need some rest, I need some time to get away and collect myself and pray about some things and go from there.
On saying goodbye to guys today
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Not necessarily. In the NFL, you cross paths with guys on different teams all the time. Former teammates may go to different teams or you may go to a different team. You still continue to see each other. The relationships you with certain people are lifetime relationships. I look at the relationships I have developed within my nine years in the NFL. There are guys that no longer play who I'm still in contact with. Some things are just lifelong relationships.
On whether he got any indication of whether the team wants him back
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In the past, Coach Jauron has always been appreciative of the things I've been able to do both on the field and off the field, in terms of leadership and also obviously playing. Coach Levy addressed the team and mentioned free agents and wanting to be active in all of free agency. Just talking to Mr. Wilson a couple of times, maybe two or three times prior to games and him wanting me back, he's the guy, it's his team. They've obviously expressed wanting me to come back. I've never been a selfish person, in terms of personally or playing-wise. I've always put the team first and sacrificed myself and the things I've wanted from an individual standpoint and goal-wise to benefit the team. I told them, in this situation right here; this is one time I have to be selfish because this is about me right now. I have to be selfish with this decision and do what's best for, first of all, myself and second of all, my family. When I speak of my family I'm talking about my wife and the child we have on the way and making sure that I secure the best future for us beyond the NFL. This is something I have to be selfish about.
On giving the impression that he doesn't want to come back
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That's the impression I left? I think, like I mentioned before, during the course of the season you go through different emotions, wins, losses and the different things that you go through. I feel like I need some time to get away and really evaluate the situation here in Buffalo, my five years in Buffalo, because really that's what it's all about. It's not just about this season, it's really a five year thing, the way I've perceived certain situations here this year, last year, and things like that. I wasn't happy about having to play this year without having a contract extension, I was not happy at all. This was the most difficult year that I've had to endure both football wise, and off the field wise. God is so good that he has definitely brought me through all this. From my own personal feelings, I was not at all happy about having to in a sense be forced to play out my contract when my performance four years prior to that, three years prior to that, two years prior to that, should have merited an extension well before this. You've extended other guys, why not extend me? The people or person who makes that decision, I was not at all happy about that, I didn't feel great about having to go into the last game of the season feeling the way that I felt, I didn't think that was fair. I don't think that was fair at all, you don't do that to a player who has done so much for you both on the field and off the field. I was not happy about it, and I'm still not happy about those things.
Thoughts on his mother and getting rest after the season
Like I said, you go through different emotions once you get away from things, get away from a situation, have time to rest. I think I need more mental rest than physical rest. Like I said, I was telling the guys yesterday, a lot has happened for me this year. The biggest thing being the death of my mother; my mom really was my whole reason for being where I am right now today. She was my inspiration, and as a kid growing up I always wanted to put a smile on her face. To not have her here to experience the different situations that I have experienced this year, my marriage, the birth of my first child, Christmas, and just not having her here to enjoy the season and different things that I have had happen to me in my life, it's been hard. Like I said, I need more mental and emotional rest than physical rest.
